Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Noob Moments - Caffeinated DPS

     My guild is small.  It's very small, in fact.  We have a whopping 16 members.  8 of them are my toons.  The other 8 belong to my wife.  The result of this is plain.  We are level 4, all by our lonesome selves.  It also means that achievements that would be a cakewalk for other guilds are somewhat more daunting for ours.  Take Set the Oven to "Cataclysmic" as an example.  A guild with 250 members means that as long as everyone simply makes a stack of their own personal buff food, the achievement is accomplished.  Simple enough.
    For my guild, however, it's a bit more difficult.  Dividing the work between me and my wife means we've each got a quota of 2,500 recipes to make.
     Now, I could care less about cooking on all of my toons except for Hyperious.  After all, he's got everything except for Thistle Tea and a few purchased recipes for Cataclysm.  Why do more?  So the other toons that do the cooking dailies do so for Guild XP and gold.  The cooking awards have just been stagnating in their bags.
     Genius (noob) that I am, I decided to spend all the alt's awards on Bags of Imported Goods to get the Cocoa Beans.
     747 Cocoa Beans.
     That's a lot of beans.
     Genius Hype decided to make Starfire Espresso because they'd be useful to the various mana-burners in the guild and they'd add to the Guild Achievement!
     747 Starfire Espressos.
     Which don't count towards the achievement because it's so bloody easy to get the mats and craft them while AFK.  Perhaps I should have checked Wowhead.
     Son. Of. A. Bitch.
     So now, after letting Hyperious stand at a brazier in Orgrimmar for 24 minutes and 40 seconds, our guild achievement hasn't budged.
     But I'm an optimist.  I'm looking at the bright side here.  The bright side is that if caffeine was DPS, I could solo Deathwing on Heroic.  Naked.
    I have a planeload (lol!) of Coffee in my bags.  If only I had the same in Real Life, I'd be set on my coffee needs for at least... a week!

     This Noob Moment has been brought to you by Wowhead, except that they have no knowledge of the fact that I'm doing this, and probably wouldn't appreciate being associated with this level of noobery. So really, it's just brought to you by me.  Hyperious the Noobulous.

EDIT: I just did the math, and 747 Starfire Espressos would take 6 hours and 15 minutes to drink, were to you spend the entire 30 seconds drinking.  It would replenish a total of 71,712,000 mana.  That's a lot of mana...


  1. My guild did it with starfires and iced teas when cataclysm first came out. I did not know they no longer work, that really sucks.

    Did you try the south island iced teas too?

    Your idea was good, it had worked in the past, they just changed it.

    On a funny side note, we still have iced teas floating around between guild members. Yes, we made that many of them but no one is ever in need of mana food, ever.

    1. Well, my wife and I tend to duo a lot of content, including older raids, so there's always at least one of us in need of a mana drink. I didn't know the Iced Teas worked, so I'll have to look into that once I get the recipe. If it does, I'll be purchasing that achievement along with what will most likely be the most epic hangover in WoW history.

  2. I can totally relate to the 2 account Guild. People don't realise how much of an effort getting 4 levels is unless they've been in the same boat. Well done on your accomplishment!

    I also started making Starfire Expressos in the hope it would bump our quota but after using one trade of my tokens for the Bag of Imported Goods (and seeing that it didn't move), I used my tokens for other stuff.