Non-WoW: The US Postal Service

     I know, I know... this is a WoW Blog.

     But it's also my own personal soapbox/rant stand/megaphone.

     I recently ordered an HDMI cable on Amazon.  I know I could've gone to a nearby electronics store or even a superstore (Wal-Mart, for example) to get the cable, but why pay $30.00 now when I can pay $4.00 and wait a week?

     Or so I thought.  I placed the order on 15 September.  The delivery estimate provided by the seller (cmple dot com.  I will NOT link that.) was between 20 September and 25 September.  Five day delivery window using standard service from the postal service seems reasonable for the price I paid.

     It didn't arrive by the 25th.  In fact, it didn't arrive on the 26th or 27th, either.  Nope, it arrived for delivery on the 28th.  Here's the kicker.  Instead of the postman (or -woman, I don't know) just dropping it in my mailbox for me to get when I had a moment to check the mail, they left a card telling me it was at the local postal station.  Why is that?

     POSTAGE DUE.

     This company had mailed out my product with unsufficient postage.  Of course, I'll be demanding a reimbursement from the company mentioned previously for the extra amount I had to pay (and should they infuriate me further, I'll bill them for the gas I spent getting to the post office and for the amount of time I spent standing in line.  It'll be easier if they just cooperate.)

     This is where the Postal Service mentioned in the title comes in.  Ohhhhh this is going to be FUN.

     I'm in line for five minutes.  On a Saturday.  Not cool.  But fine, whatever.  The Post Office is often busy on Saturday.  I've made it halfway through the line of people when one of the workers (heh... right) at the desk shouts to the crowd, "Anyone for pickup should go to the blue door and ring the bell."

     Now I'm at a blue door with a bell.  I ring the bell a total of three times over the course of my ten minute wait. Once at arrival.  Once at five minutes. Once more at ten minutes.  On the third ring, the door is pulled open by a rather large woman with a lazy eye.  Scary.  She snatches the pickup card from my hand, glances at it, then looks at me in disbelief.  "Why are you over HERE?!" she demands of me.  "Because the lady over there said all pickups should come over here."

     "No, you got to go over there to pay yo' POSTAGE." Imagine this with all the attitude you can muster in your mind.  Remember, she's a big woman.  One eye is not looking at me.  Got the image?

     Let's move on.  I go back to the line I started in.  It's longer than it was when I first arrived.  Ten minutes pass.  I'm pretty sure I can feel the blood coagulating in my veins a la The Andromeda Strain.  The book, not the movie.  Seriously, read the book before watching the movie.  It'll wreck every movie you ever watch.

     Where was I?

     Right, in line, waiting to die.

     So, I get to the counter.  George Burns is standing there.  If you don't know who that is, Google it.  Seriously, go now.  It'll complete the image I'm trying to paint for you.  It wasn't *actually* George Burns, but you get my point.

     George Burns asks me why I'm at his counter with a pickup card.  Well, George, it's because scary Cyclops over at the Blue Door of Doom told me to come here to pay my postage.  "Well, if you knew you had to pay postage, why did you go over there in the first place?" *sigh*  I'm not exactly religious, but I almost started praying for serenity at this point.  I must not punch government employees.  I must not punch government employees.  Imustnotpunchgovernmentemployees.

     "Look, sir, I just want my package. I have the money to pay the extra postage.  I just need the package.  Please go find my package." I'll admit, I probably had a little annoyance in my voice at this point.  Sue me.  My patience is not infinite (anyone who has ever been in a PuG with me can attest to that).

     He walks back to the rear of the post office to find my package (remember, this is just an HDMI cable that's already three days late).  As he's returning, I can hear him before I see him.  What do I hear him saying, you might ask?

     "Find my package, find my package, find my package!" in the most mocking tone you can come up with when you're trying not to let the customer hear you.

     George Burns comes back to the counter and I said "You know, I could hear you mocking me back there.  Those walls aren't soundproof."

     His response? "Good."

     At this point, I've had it.  However, I maintain my self control. Sort of.  I maintain it enough to pay for my package, snatch my receipt, and leave the post office without a scene.

     This was about an hour ago.  Writing it down has helped me to calm down a bit.  Perhaps it's just given me something to focus on while the adrenaline rush subsides.

     But seriously, and I say this with all sincerity.

     F*** the U.S. Postal Service.

Making a Hunter

     Some of you may recall that I presented a challenge to another blogger specifically, and to the players generally, asking that they bring a character to maximum level without taking any damage.

     I've tried this on a few classes.  Obviously it's impossible on the melee classes.  The ranged spellcasters can pull it off, but they've got to be really careful and pray they don't miss, start from maximum range, and so forth.

     Then I decided I'd try a hunter.  I've played WoW for five years and have never even created a hunter.  Most of the people I've played with at least have a hunter in their lineup.  May I just say that the phrase "Easy to play, difficult to master" has been pretty well proven by theorycrafters and players alike?  But nobody told me it would be that easy in the first levels.

     Keep in mind that while I was leveling this guy, I wasn't really trying to avoid damage.  I was playing the hunter just to see what playing a hunter was like.  But when I got to level 10 and decided to check my statistics, I was stunned.  I'd gotten all the way to choosing a spec taking only about 600 points of damage.

     With that in mind, I think I may have to append the Zero-Damage Challenge.  If I wasn't trying and got in that low, surely it can be done with an actual ZERO.

     Now, obviously you'd want to be attacking everything from maximum range.  That's just a given.  Know your spells and when to use them.  As a hunter, it's rather obvious that a concussive shot will give you a lot more time to kill the mob before it gets to you.

     Learn how to make macros.  Macros are your friends for all occasions.  Even little ones like weaving in /startattack with your main damage spell macros.  This ensures that you're auto-attacking as well as using the special abilities.  Not a huge deal, as once combat starts, auto-attack should kick in.  but it helps to make sure that if you're using an instant-cast ability or spell, it'll get the bonus of the auto-attack as well.  If you start learning which of your combat cooldowns are off the GCD, you can weave them into every action you take.

     One example is on Hyperious.  As a holy pally, he's got a half dozen different cooldowns that can amplify various abilities.  They're all useable off the GCD.  So, since the main goal is to make sure I'm maximizing my output, I've gotten them all included in the macros for the various spells they can affect.

     But I'm getting off topic.

     Point is, if I can get a hunter from the starting area to level 10 and take that little damage, surely a more seasoned hunter aficionado can pull off the true zero.

     I realize that with Mists of Pandaria out, nobody's going to be taking the challenge any time soon.  But still.  The challenge stands for any and all who wish to attempt it.

     Hunters... Y U SO FUN?!

Starter Account - Pet Battles!

     I bet you thought this would be about how great I think the pet battle system is.

     Nope.  Because of this.

 

     Hype doesn't get to battle with pets on a starter account, because starter accounts are capped at 10g.  That means that even though it's not *technically* locked out (because it shows up and I can access it and the only reason I can't buy it is because I can't afford it), I have no way of actually training for pet battles on the starter account.

     Which is crap, actually.  Because the starter account is meant to give players the chance to see many aspects of the game which would entice them to buy the full version.  If I have a starter account, and I get to do a little pet battling, and I decide I really like it and want to collect ALL THE PETS, then I'd have to buy the full version simply because I can't survive the trip to anywhere that has more pets.

     So, there we go.  Yes, I realize Starter Accounts are supposed to be limited, but come on.  If you have to keep the cost of pet battles at 80g, at least let me purchase some kind of token or voucher or something that stacks to 8 so I can make my Westfall Chicken get into a fight with an Orange Tabby or something.

     Chickens win against cats, right? Right?

     Guys?

MoP First Impressions

     I have none.  My account lapsed a while back (hence the abundance of "Starter Edition" posts) and I haven't yet found the time to resubscribe and purchase Mists of Pandaria.

     So, I'll give you guys my first impressions based on other bloggers' first impressions, and we'll call this First Impressions Squared.  Much like making a copy of a copy, this won't be too clear.  As such, here's a happy break to shield you guys from the bad.  But secretly, you want to click it.  You have to know what Crazy Ol' Hyperious is thinking about a game he has not, himself, actually gotten to play.  Cliiiiiiiiiicky clicky!

Ten Thousand Views

     So, the last post managed to bring my total pageviews to more than ten thousand.  That's not too bad considering my first post was back in late January 2012 and I haven't exactly been updating an a regular basis.
     Thanks to everyone who reads this blog!  I never actually thought so many people would want to hear what I have to say, especially when half my posts seem to be incoherent rambling about disconnected topics.
     That actually got me thinking about the other blogs I read.

     And I thought I'd recommend a few.

     The Grumpy Elf is always good for some down and dirty analysis (and he gets pretty in-depth) of whatever the latest topic of discussion is in the WoW Blogosphere.  As others have said, Grumpy can talk for a long, long time.  Just sayin'...

     The Daily Frostwolf - Druid Edition, written by the starstruck Navimie, is sort of a WoW Blogger Celebrity News Show, if that makes any sense.  I've found that I will pick out new blogs to read from her Navispam posts (which are why I refer to her as starstruck).  I'm fairly certain that most bloggers out there who know of Navimie are secretly hoping they'll be picked next for a Navispam.  I just commented and demanded a visit.

     Blessing of Kings is a great place to go for some paladin discussion and some non-WoW gaming stuff, too.  Rohan was also the first person to give me a spot on his blogroll, allowing me an established place to get a little traffic sent my way.

     Big Bear Butt is one-of-a-kind in the blogging world.  He doesn't seem to conform to any specific style to speak of, instead choosing to write as if he were simply speaking to a good friend.  That's what makes his blog a great read.  He's funny, witty, and welcoming.  And the Cub Reports are a blast to read.

     Those are my four favorites, though there are by far many other options out there.

Are Guilds Going Extinct?

     Okay, the title sucks.  Sue me, it's early and I didn't get much sleep.  But seriously.  What's the point of guilds anymore besides storage space for bank alts?  I mean, with the rise of cross-realm grouping and the loss of a few key perks (Have Group, Will Travel, for example?) that came with the larger guilds makes me think that perhaps guilds are losing their functionality.

Paladin Theorycrafting

     I swore I'd never get into any theorycrafting.  I may have even bluntly stated that fact somewhere in this blog.  Don't get me wrong.  I love numbers.  I'm pretty good at math, regardless of complexity of the equations.  I just never really wanted to actually apply math to my fun.

     However, I realized long ago that most of my fun actually does involve math.  And I'm okay with that.

     Well, normally I'd leave the WoW theorycrafting to the professionals.  But I noticed something in the new Paladin talents and glyphs.  I think I've found a must-have combination, especially for healers.

Should Hyperious Use Twitter?

     A big piece of news recently was that Greg Street, a.k.a Ghostcrawler, lead developer for World of Warcraft, finally hopped on the Twitter train and started tweeting to players, fans, and haters alike.  And one thing I've noticed is that I may be the only WoW blogger that doesn't use twitter.
     So, the big question.  Should Hyperious, collector of toys and killer of many bad things, champion of the Light and of cookies, defender of the weak and master chef of recipes involving gnomes, *deep breath, Hype, you've got a long way to go* bite the bullet and get on Twitter?
     If I did do that, should I go for a handle based on the blog name or my own?
     What do I do, fellow bloggers and readers? What do I do?!

     Cause seriously, Twitter...

Graphics Requirements

     Okay, I haven't actually looked at the system requirements for Mists of Pandaria, mainly because I already know I'm not going to be playing at Ultra.  As it is, my current rig can only handle Fair level graphics.  I used to be able to run on Ultra settings, and I loved it. But that machine (with twin GeForce 9800 512s) exploded, and I had to replace it with a machine that, well, simply turned on.  Money and all that.
     But the more I look at Cymre's various screenshots and Rioriel's Postcards, the more I realize just how much I'm really missing in my gameplay experience.  I mean, if you check those two out (and you really should!), you'll see some incredible detail in the game world.  Meanwhile, if you look at my screenshots and videos, you can definitely tell that I don't have an extraordinarily powerful graphics card.

Non-WoW Post

     I've spent a little time playing some Texas Hold'Em poker online. I played sporadically over the past few years, but I stopped once the U.S. Legislature passed a bill effectively shutting down online gambling.
     I never played more than $5.00 a month, to ensure that it never affected my finances. One thing I've noticed when I compare online poker to an in-person game, is the direct application of the Internet Fuckwad Equation.
     See, when you're playing poker with people sitting across the table with you, you have to be reasonable and rational, and being a complete idiot will quickly cost you your chips. It'll also cost you the respect of the other players.
     But when you're playing online, especially with play chips, there are no consequences. Even if you go all-in with a stupid hand and lose, it doesn't matter. You can rebuy without any issue or delay.
     I see people playing low cards, off suit, in bad position, and they're taking it all the way to the river. And they can't be bluffing because they do it all the time.  My favorite brand of idiot rides a deuce-seven offsuit all the way to the river, calling bets on straight- and flush- threats, and somehow catches a pair on the river.
     This idiot took the worst possible hand all the way to the end of that hand, and they won. Why? Because the other SIX people who stayed in did so with equally terrible hands.
     It actually makes me miss being able to play for money. At least then, even if you didn't have to look someone in the eye as you made your attempt to buy your way out of a risky bluff, you still had to risk real money to do it.
     I'm thinking I should give up the play chip games. All they do is remind me how stupid some players can be.

     This post brought to you by Hyperious watching the Cowboys abuse the Giants (American Football for the international readers)

Giant Orange Rocks

     I'm a big fan of archaeology.  Not the grind, mind you.  Anything but the grind.  It's fun to solve the projects and see what the next one is.  It's really fun as an alchemist to get a canopic jar from the Tol'vir.  It's not as much fun to open that jar and find yet another Mummified Organ instead of that @#$%@ recipe.

   Breathe, Hype... this is a safe place... no jars here... it's okay...